Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
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He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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