I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
