You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
