I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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