He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
