ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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