My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
