They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
