i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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