Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
