No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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