remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
