the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
