I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He better not be in your backpack
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
