Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
