this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
