well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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