Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
