somebody snuck up and got me drunk
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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