It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
