There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
