I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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