So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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