yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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