Where is the hickey?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
