some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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