I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
