I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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