I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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