My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
