So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
