I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
