i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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