Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
