I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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