I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
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I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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