There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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