so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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