He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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