I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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