Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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