My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize