i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
