It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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