somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize