My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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