why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
