I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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