i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
