dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
