why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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