dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So much Jack, so little girl.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
