Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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