Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
