We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
