He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
