Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
