brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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