I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
