The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
