this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
