well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
